Celebrity Fool Endorsement: Renaissance Art Moleskine Covers!

I just started using one of these in Cranberry Red, and it is a Very Satisfying Thing. I take a lot of notes when I'm performing -- I write down the jokes you tell me, I keep updating my index of How to Say "Bad Monkey" In Foreign Languages, I keep working on my masque, "Much Ado About Muffins" -- and I generally fill up and re-copy one leather-bound notebook per year. I've gone through all of the ones I bought on my honeymoon in Venice (at Rivus Altus on, natch, the Rialto), and this solution delights me. The leather is very fine and lightweight, so it doesn't add bulk to your Moleskine, and it weathers very prettily. They'll even personalize the covers for you. Find more delights at http://www.renaissance-art.com/ !

Memorial for Marc Lupescu: Friday 7/3 7:30pm sharp

The Bristol Renaissance Faire community lost a cornerstone yesterday when Marc Lupescu, beloved blacksmith, stage manager, and friend, passed away.

Susan Scot Fry, former Bristol Entertainment Director, posted this information about a Memorial for Marc on her FaceBook page, and Heath Denikas, Bristol's Quartermaster, also posted this on the Bristol Discussion Board:

"A memorial gathering for Marc Lupescu is officially on for this Friday, July 3, 2009.

"When: 7:30pm - please give yourself enough time to park and walk so that we can start on time.

"Where: The Cheshire Chase Action Stage at the Bristol Renaissance Faire site.

"Who: The people who knew and loved Marc Lupescu.

"What to Do: Marc is loved by a great many people, so part of the gathering will be a chance for us all to send a message to him. Plese write a few words on a strip of paper and bring it with you. There will be a point in the evening when you will be invited to send your thoughts and love up to Marc via fire - most likely using Marc's portable forge.

"Thank you for your warm thoughts and outpourings of love."

From Dad: A Joke for Musicians

My dad Dan Shapera (http://ping.fm/x27rl) sends this joke for all to enjoy, especially you orchestrals out there.

It was the Fourth of July. The band was in their shirt sleeves and getting ready to rise for the director.

The oboist was setting up his tuner and sounding the Bb. But it was wrong, so he tried a new reed. As he put the reed into his mouth, he accidentally inhaled it and began choking.

He gestured to the director, who waved back, pointing to his watch. Some say he even said "while we're young" keeping with the time honored tradition of band directors all over the world.

The desperate oboist threw his music stand to the ground and stomped it to smithereens. The band director stormed over to give a lecture to what he thought was an outburst from yet another temperamental oboist.

But he saw the poor guy was choking and turning purple. By now the oboist was on the ground and pounding the floor of the gazebo. Some say he even tried to shove the oboe down his throat to dislodge the reed. This was never verified.

The band director ran to the drug store across the street and dialed 911. The voice came through the telephone and the director explained the situation. The 911 dispatcher reassured the director that help was on its way.

"Do you know what to do until we get there?" asked the dispatcher.

"Yes!" replied the band director. "We're going to use a muted trumpet".

Great Circus Parade Route!

Here's the route for the Great Circus Parade on July 12, 2009 in Milwaukee. It takes a Scenic Route past the beautiful City Hall and along Kilbourn Avenue this time around, avoiding construction on Wisconsin Avenue. I walked the route this afternoon and scouted the shadiest viewing places -- soon I'll post a little guide to the loveliest ones, so you don't get sunburnt to a crisp while waves of circus splendour wash over the town! It looks like there are plenty of places to grab shade and have a good view along the route.

So excited about this parade. Getting emails and letters from a Clown Coordinator makes life delightfully strange, and I know I'm going to meet and make a million new friends that day. A brand-new parade banner is being made and sent to me as I write this -- I should have it by this coming weekend. It's fun being your own parade float! So getcher sunscreen and foldy-chairs ready for the Circus Victory March, as Legions of Clowns and a Fool storm Brew City!

Get Your Smile On! Semmerling & Schaefer Smile Masks!

The Most Frequently Asked Questions:

Where did you get that crazy smile mask? Can I get one?

The Answers You Desperately Crave:

The Jane the Phoole Smile Mask comes from the genius craftsmanship of Semmerling & Schaefer Mask Studios in Chicago -- and you CAN get one! In fact, you can get SEVERAL, or even MANY. They're brilliantly-made and perfectly-priced. Visit http://www.maskartists.com/ for more information on how to get your very own auxiliary smile!

The Mildmay: A Whoopie Cushion Cozy Invented by Jane the Phoole

This is my latest invention, created when I ought to have been packing and preparing for the Jane's Ville Renaissance Faire this coming weekend.  While I was Agecrofting my hankies (pressing creases into 'em, because my audience is BRILLIANT and demands fascinating details about which to quiz me), I thought, "That Whoopie Cushion.  I gotta do something more than wrap it in one of these hankies.  And I know I have ten yards of that black and gold ball fringe menacing the rest of my trim stash..."

THE REASON it is called The Mildmay has to do with Sir Walter Mildmay -- not the actual factual dead one, but the chap playing him at the Bristol Renaissance Faire.  And now I think you know what happens next.  Yes!  I'm finally, and at very long last, going to tell you the Story of the Day of the Whoopie Cushion from last summer.  It still makes me laugh; hopefully it will distract you from all the other nonsense clouding your pate these days.

At Bristol, for the past decade or so, it has been my custom, as Jane the Phoole, to attend the first jousting tournament of the day, the one that happens at Wyckham Field at 11:00 a.m. Sometimes the excellent Hanlon-Lees fellows will add a little part for me into their shows, but generally I simply go to enjoy a view from the dais in the company of some marvelous funny people.

Foremost among funny is Richard Weber, in any guise you like or no guise at all, but I'm accustomed lately to playing alongside him when he's Bristol's Lord Mayor Egads Newcastle.  He has been the first joust's Master of Ceremonies since before you and I met.  I will generally gauge my dawdle from the gates of the city down to the tiltyard so that we arrive at about the same time.  

Also on the dais for the joust will be the necessary consort, starring The Great Antone (Antonio Albarran of The Darbuki Kings) and featuring the Bristol Brass (who have a nickname which I will tell you about if you ask me, and Steve Fassl, who is Odorferious Thunderbottom, also calls them by the same nickname, which is a term of extreme honor but which has a naughty word in it).  And then a passel of guests will ordinarily join us on the dais as well.

On this particular day, on my saunter from the gate to the lists, I encountered a large family who were all standing in the sun, peering at their programs, turning the maps over and over, trying to figure it all out for themselves.  I instantly pounced on them and insisted I'd show them around, as I had some time to kill before achieving jousty-time.

I gave them a kind of tour of the Bristol Renaissance Faire, at least the East side, but as these things do, it swiftly degenerated into me telling them outrageous stories blending people's character lives with silly details of their actual foibles, all in Elizabethan vernacular, d'accord.  I sensed I was only puzzling them into a faint, but they were very obliging folk, and they followed me around and nodded and humored me, and we had a pleasant stroll down the giant hill toward the tilts.

When we arrived at Wyckham Field, I cast a jaundiced peep at the sun-bleachy stands and decided I would take this entire family, whose names I could not and cannot recall, on the dais with me.  I would just cram them all up there.  There were, like, twenty of them, but I would make them fit onto the bench-and-a-half left up there.  I got everyone settled, introduced Egads and Antone and the band, and instructed the bewildered family that if anyone hassled them, they were to point to me and say that they were MY OWN PERSONAL FAMILY.  I assumed that would prevent any awkward confrontations, as I am a gigantically famous superstar.

As it happened, the plan never needed enacting -- no one asked a thing.  Lovely!  A Stage Manager did come over, but she had to, because she had to give Richard the microphone.

Now, about the microphone -- the tiltyard has violently poor acoustics, and any shouting drifts immediately over the hill and into bogs and weed-patches and is gone the second it leaves the vocal cords.  So a sound system is mandated, and if you don't want to know about it, because you don't want The Magic to be disrupted, then, well, I don't know what to tell you.  You might need to have someone read this to you and edit out all the bits with the microphone mentioned.  When we're on, we either never refer to it or we call it Goofy Euphemisms, like "The Farspeaker" or -- I like this one -- "The Infernal Device."

I liked my new family, and felt they deserved an extra layer of experience, being stuffed onto the dais and all, so I told them all about The Infernal Device and how it's wireless and how Egads and I are extremely ill-behaved and how I learned from him how to Ride the Mute Switch and so on.  I'm not sure it meant anything to them, but they were tacitly agreeable to all the goings-on, so we had a charming chatter-away while we waited for horses to come thundering out of the mews.

And then -- AND THEN -- Sir Walter and Lady Mildmay appeared on the dais, as was their custom, except this time they were, quite out of character for Mildmay's usually choleric aspect, giggling like about-to-be-expelled schoolchildren.  They were positively sanguine, biting back big laughs, and I naturally wanted to be in on the fun as soon as possible, so we shuffled people around on the dais benches again so that everyone could have a proper sit-me-down.  Mildmay and Lady plucked at my sleeves and whispered, with deadly urgency, "Jane, we have a PRESENT for you."

As you know, there's No Time Like Time for Presents, and just the fact that I was about to get a gift nearly sent me over the moon.  They produced, wrapped in a delicate muckinger and a silk ribbon, a WHOOPIE CUSHION.

Well, I couldn't wait!  I immediately hurled the thing onto the throne and hopped up and down on it like mad.  Frt, frt, frt, frt, frrrrt!  It was instantly delightful.  Richard lowered his face into his hands, realizing it would probably be a long morning.  I explored velocity, pressure, volume, refractory period -- it proved an astoundingly resilient thing, and I jumped up and down on it constantly until the trumpets sounded for the beginning of the joust.

The Master of Arms rode out and spoke with the Mayor, and then the knights came barrelling out of the mews on their mighty steeds, and they drove ferociously around the arena in complicated patterns like they do, because they are professionals.  And just as all of the knights assembled in their final, grand formation, facing the dais, with the Master of Arms at attention, the Mayor came to stand at the very furthest downstage edge of the dais and discreetly turned on The Infernal Device, and opened his mouth to speak --

And I swear I didn't think it would be that loud.  Seriously.  But I somehow managed to jostle my bottom on that Whoopee Cushion, and it let forth such a BRRRRRRRAAAPPP that it registered on The Infernal Device and ECHOED ALL OVER THE ARENA.  

And then I died, I think, or exploded, because there was a roaring, laughter from everywhere, and through my tears of mirth I beheld the jousters quaking with laughs in their armors, and the puzzled smile on the Master of Arms, and Richard's shaking head and quaking shoulders.

Once the laugh had crested and begun to recede, Richard just said, "I'm sorry, Master of Arms -- Jane's just so gassy."  And everyone exploded with guffaws again, and I think I laughed the rest of the entire day.  

I'm actually still laughing now.  The timing on that faux fart was so amazing -- I will not say that I did all; it happened, it was serendipitous and magical and rude and perfect.  And that is the story of the Whoopie Cushion, and why it is now dubbed The Mildmay.

"Bad Monkey" in Many Languages

If you would like to know how to say "bad monkey" in a non-English language, I might be able to help you! I'm compiling a list of a few, partly for laffs, partly because I'm writing a book for children and other blazing geniuses about ways to say "bad monkey," and many of you have asked me to post it on the Inter-Tubes.

Because you all delight me so greatly, I have complied with your wishes. Visit http://www.phoole.com/ and then click " 'Bad Monkey' in Many Languages" under "Linkie-Dinkie-Doo" on the left-hand side. Enjoy, all you bad monkeys!

RIP Augusto Boal, Joker Supreme

The International Theatre of the Oppressed (<a href="http://theatreoftheoppressed.org/)">http://theatreoftheoppressed.org/)</a> has very, very sad news about someone whose work has influenced mine immensely. If you've ever been in one of my shows, or if you've ever taken one of my classes or seminars, or if we've ever jokered, fooled or played together, you've experienced a little something of Boal's work. I only learned his ideas through his books; I would have loved to have met him and joked with him. Here's the message I received from the ITO:

"Augusto Boal, one of the most valiant people of his times, has - as a friend of ours said - become one of our ancestors. He has fought until the very last moment to keep his spirit alive, just as he has fought against oppression for so many decades. "I won't be dead unless people forget" says a song. In Augusto's case, this means he will live forever. For the most, he will live in the spirit of those who work with the Theatre of the Oppressed, which he introduced and expanded every time, and usually ahead of his time. We are only beginning to understand what power lies in Theatre of the Oppressed and how it can deeply affect global society. We are only beginning to understand what Augusto Boal has created, but we can only come to understand it by using his creation in practice. By continuing the work he did, we can sincerely commemorate his achievements. We hope this message is resounded across the globe.

"Many of you have already reacted to Augusto Boal's death by sending emails to ITO or to other websites. We decided to create a space on <a href="http://www.theatreoftheoppressed.org/">http://www.theatreoftheoppressed.org/</a> where anyone can leave a condolence message to us all or to someone in particular. This condolence registry can be accessed through <a href="http://www.theatreoftheoppressed.org/">http://www.theatreoftheoppressed.org/</a>en/index.php?nodeID=233&action=new,en/index.php?nodeID=233&action=new, the messages can be read through <a href="http://www.theatreoftheoppressed.org/">http://www.theatreoftheoppressed.org/</a>en/index.php?nodeID=233.en/index.php?nodeID=233.

"The ITO website will update you on the latest developments on the planned Memorial Day activities. Please check <a href="http://www.theatreoftheoppressed.org/">http://www.theatreoftheoppressed.org/</a>en/index.php?nodeID=13&id=3&id=419en/index.php?nodeID=13&id=3&id=419 regularly if urgent messages are issued, you will be informed through this mailing list.

"Although we are filled with sadness, we believe we should take up whatever strength we have and increase the intensity of the work we are doing. The best way to remember Boal is to remember his fighting spirit. To look for peace, not passivity and to have the courage to be happy."

I really appreciate that final sentiment: "...have the courage to be happy." I'll try to keep my smile right-side up, and I hope we can all of us jokers remember the changes we're making in big and small ways simply through "spect-actor" contact and synthesis.

Jane the Phoole Mentioned in Society Pages!

Many thanks to Jim Owczarski, to whom I owe so very, very much in my fooling, for pointing out that the dazzling Marcella Kearns and I were mentioned in this week's Boris +Doris Out On the Town column in Milwaukee's weekly Shepherd-Express! We were sighted among the glitterati at the Sunset Playhouse Season Kick-Off and Anniversary Bash, in support of the Sunset's new Managing Director, the astounding genius Jonathan West, to whom I ALSO owe so much. Pick up your copy today!

Art for You to View: Kenilworth Arts Building, 4/18/09 10-4

My brilliant sculptor husband, Tom Charney, and my genius protege, Chloe Arbiture, display their sculpture/video collaboration installation at Milwaukee's Kenilworth Arts Building tomorrow, 1925 E Kenilworth Place (Kenilworth and Farwell on Milwaukee's East Side, above Urban Outfitters and sort of across the street from Izumi's Delicious Sushi-Land), April 18, 2009, from 10am to 4pm. Please go view the fruit of their collaborative effort!

June 27: Jane Rocks! Lake Mills Rock-N-Roll Parade

My two most favorite Doyles in the whole world, Mary and Pat, whom I adore even more than Sir Arthur Conan himself, have invited Jane the Phoole to perform in the Lake Mills Parade on June 27! It steps off at 10:30am.

The Parade is a part of "Town & Country Days" in the tall-treed, cute-cotttaged precious hamlet of Lake Mills. If you scroll way down on their Events Calendar page, you find this delectable tid-bit:

June 25th-28th - Lake Mills "Town & Country Days " Downtown Commons Park
Christman Brothers Amusements sponsored by American Legion Post 67, Entertainment Tent & Live Music Daily sponsored by Sons of the American Legion

*Parade- Saturday, June 27th- 10:30 a.m., sponsored by the Lake Mills Area Chamber of Commerce. Theme for this year is "Rock & Roll"

Maxwell Street Days start at 9:30am Sponsored by the Lake Mills Main Street
Program
Big Wheel Races Saturday 12:00 noon, sponsored by the Lake Mills Optimist Club
Bed Races 3pm, Sponsored by the Lake Mills Main Street Program
Chamber Brat Stand, Legion Hamburger Stand "Sliders" and Legion Ladies Auxiliary Pie Stand EVERY DAY!

I'm already hungry for the Pie Stand EVERY DAY! I know you are too. Grip your werewithal and steel yourself -- you'll have to wait until Town & Country Days for that pie. And I'll see you there on June 27th! Wave to me!

Muncaster Castle's Festival of Fools Ads: Who's That Fool?

I'm thrilled that the very kind Pennington family and all of the people at Muncaster Castle still choose Jane the Phoole as the Poster Fool for their Festival of Fools! I received a sweet note from Peter Frost-Pennington yesterday saying he hoped I wouldn't mind their continued use of my image. I'm deeeeee-lighted! Zzzzang!

Phoole Fave: Blue Flame Music!

Recover from big-box music store shock by shopping Milwaukee's Blue Flame Music, at 5264 S. 27th Street in Milwaukee, WI, zip code 53221.  My husband buys his guitars and amps there, I will get my husband a cowbell there, and I just bought MY FIRST CONCERTINA there (alert alert! Jane the Phoole has a button box!).  Dave and Glenn there are both great and fine gentlemen, but it is Dave with whom my husband and I have bonded most closely.  He's our kind of art-making life-living guy -- he's a zesty talker and a really enjoyable presence.  And he painstakingly fixed my concertina BEFORE I'D EVEN BOUGHT IT when I ham-fingeredly crammed one of the tiny little buttons down inside one of the holes and got it stuck.

So please go and shop for instruments, accessories, strings, stands, picks, pedals, books, cases, lessons, and everything else that makes a sound or carries an axe at this real store, run by real people.  They don't seem to have a freestanding intertubez site, but their MySpace page and their eBay store will connect you to this great shop.

Great Circus Parade Returns to Milwaukee!

Jane the Phoole LOVES the Great Circus Parade. Not seen in Milwaukee since 2003, it's back for a triumphant roll through Milwaukee's downtown on July 12, 2009 -- and I'm hoping to see you there! I went to Circus World recently to perform in a student film project, and the wagons are in brilliant shiny shape and ready to blow your mind with spectacle. Visit the Circus World website for news on how to reserve deluxe seating on Kilbourn Avenue, get your commemorative pins, and everything Great Circus Parade 2009!