Bad Monkey Quest Needs Your Help!

Friends, fellows, fans and Phooligans, I need your help.

As you may or may not have heard, my latest hobby is collecting the words "bad monkey" in every language in the world. The rules of my collection are as follows:

1. I can't just look up the translations online or in reference materials; I have to be told the translations by actual humans.
2. Fictional languages are all right, but actual evolved human languages are preferred.
3. It's best when I'm taught the words by native speakers of the languages, but I welcome students of foreign languages as well.

I keep track of the languages I've learned so far at http://badmonkeylog.blogspot.com/, so you can see what I've already acquired.

My goal is to acquire 100 different languages for saying "bad monkey" (not including English, "bad English," or any dialects, pidgins or creoles of English which are linguistically similar enough to the root to still be considered English by linguistic anthropologists) by Her Majesty's Birthday, September 7, closing day of our amazing show.

Here's How You Can Help:

If you meet any people during the day who speak languages besides English, please ask them to find me, or bring them to me yourself, if you can!

Even if you think I may already have their language, Jane the Phoole is extremely British regarding nationality, and, like any good English subject, believes foreigners to be very nearly a different species. But she's curious about them, and she's excited to learn what life is like on the other side of the world, where people walk upside down.

Plus it's just fun to suddenly say "bad monkey" to someone in their own language -- the look of shocked surprise earns a year's worth of angel's pay. I've found that many foreign guests who wouldn't speak English to anyone else will try to speak it with me after I say "bad monkey" to them in their language -- I start building a little bridge to them, and they seem to develop confidence in their own attempts at English.

What else do you give the woman who has everything? It's true you should never give a woman anything she can't wear in the evening -- but I think giving Her Grace 100 languages for "bad monkey" will at least be a gift full of memorable laffs. Be a part of Jane the Phoole's Monkey Quest -- and be a part of "bad monkey" history!